How many times have I wished I had said something, but didn’t?
How many times have I gone to bed and played the same message over and over in my head …”if only”…”why didn’t I?”…”Ugh”…
Regrets will keep us up nights – they will sneak into any unguarded crevice in our minds and set up camp and do what they do, oh so well; create a loop that keeps playing endlessly, relentlessly and without mercy …
I got a call 10 days ago, just as my next client was literally about to walk in the door…”I’m afraid I have some bad news…”My dear friend, Cheryl had died. I went numb. I was in Disbelief!
It took me a few days before I could actually look at the beautiful video her daughter, Andrea had made; but long before that, I started thinking…”If only…”
I had been meaning to email her. I had been meaning to send her the Grief Recovery Handbook.
I had been meaning to help her navigate the loss of her Mother.
I had been meaning to…just a big old pile of regrets!
Now, it’s too late. She’s gone.Now, I can’t do any of those things. I din’t get to say “Goodbye”.
I didn’t get to tell her how much I love her and to thank her for being there for me on 7 SW, when I was new and didn’t have a clue of what I was doing, but she took me under wing and just loved me, in the way only Cheryl knew how.
It had been many years since we had actually seen each other, but that doesn’t matter. The ties that bind are strong and I feel her loss acutely! If only…
The message here:
- Don’t rack up those regrets – they end up being undelivered communications, that keep us stuck in our grief
- Tell the ones you love the most what they mean to you, even if it feels uncomfortable – it may be the only chance you get to do that
- Always say “I love you” (if that’s appropriate) and “goodbye” when you finish a call or leave for the day
- Tell the truth about how you feel